Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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