yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
