why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
