Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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