I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge my taste in strippers
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize