The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
