Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
