I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
