I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
