dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
