New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
