have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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