She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I see more hoeing in ur future
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