piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
