Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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