i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
