So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
