I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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