My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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