Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
