I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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