C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
