At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
