this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
