I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
