i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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