dude i'm inner monologue high
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
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I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
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Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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