I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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