we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You're breaking my sexual little heart
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
