She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
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She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
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OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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