it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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