hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
try to milk me bitch
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
