is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
