that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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