One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.