NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.