Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
