fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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