I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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