Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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