he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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