Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
