It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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