just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
