i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
