But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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