This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
i think i just lost a toe
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
