i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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