Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
