I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
