Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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