Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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