My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
