a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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