She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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