I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
