Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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