I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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