It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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