I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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