He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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