he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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