I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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