i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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