I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
