he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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