Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
